New duty station, new baby, new Army life. FORT BRAG, NC: Our Story

One of the things I feared most before getting married was one day falling out of love with that person. I am not sure why this was such a fear of mine but it was. I definately did not want it to happen after I was married because the only other thing I feared more was having to go through a divorce.

On February 18th, 2006, my best friend, Joelle, and I decided to venture out since we had just turned 21. We were at a place called "The Drink" when we decided to do what was called a "lap" where we walked around the bar in order to scope out the scene. While we were walking around we saw four guys standing in a circle and instantly Josh struck my eye. (Turns out that if you stop walking and start giggling like little girls then you are pretty hard to miss as well.) Joelle and I came up with this genius idea to ask him to take a picture of us. So Josh introduced himself and then took our picture. The bar was loud but Josh and I attempted to understand each other over the music before he asked me if I wanted to sit down and talk some more. While we sat in the booth in the corner and talked for an hour, Joelle talked to Josh's best friend, Jim. At the time both Joelle and Jim were being wingfriends since they were in committed relationships. I am not sure what Josh and I talked about for so long but I was very intrigued with this boy. So I layed it all out there and asked him "So what do you think about Jesus?" To which he replied, "Well I don't really think about Jesus these days" That night before we left Joelle gave Josh a piece of paper with my number on it. While Joelle and I were washing up for bed that night she said, "You are going to marry this boy....I just know it."

(Very first picture of Josh and I after we met that night at the bar.)

I would like to say that the rest is history but I am afraid that was not the case. Josh and I dated for 4 months and then broke up. At this time we didn't really know each other too well but I was still very hurt by this breakup. We hadn't had a fight or anything but he had brought it up and I tried to go along with it. He left that night and I cried. I had not cried over a boy in over 2 years so I wasn't sure why I was soo affected by this.

Josh would call and we would talk up a storm. We didn't hang out but I thought everytime he would maybe ask to do something. I soon found myself wishing and hoping for something that wasn't going to happen. So after talking the subject over and over again with Joelle, I decided that it was best that I didn't talk to him. This was only best for me because I was finding this man very hard to get over and when he would call to say hi I would get the least bit of hope that he still liked me. Time went by and we would run into each other occassionally...to which I would always leave very distraught from seeing him because of how much I missed him.

It had been 4 months since we had last dated and Christmas break was coming up. I was running on the treadmill at the gym when I saw him walk in. He came over and we started talking. I had to eventually start walking because I couldn't laugh and run at the same time. He has always had this way of making me laugh and I usually don't find things very funny because I have always been more of a serious person. Josh isn't a stand up comedian; infact, some might even say that he isn't funny at all but I would argue this. He can say the most random thing or perhaps the most stupid thing and I will laugh hysterically. During this conversation, Josh informed that he would also be up in Duluth over Christmas break skiing. Joelle and I were also heading up to Duluth to hang out with her parents. Josh let me get back to my run to which I ran my last 3 miles faster than I had ran my first 3. :)

It was now Christmas break. We had been emailing to each other and had decided to hang out one night in Duluth. So Joelle agreed to come out with me in Duluth to meet up with him. We hung out at a local pub and had a drink before we went across the way to a place that had dancing. I don't think we left each others side on the dance floor that night and although Josh thinks his dance moves are better than they are....I can't deny that I enjoyed them that night. :) Joelle and I dropped off Josh at his little sister's (where he was staying) and I will never forget what happened after he left the car. Sweet Joelle started yelling at me! She said, "You need to stop this! I saw you get hurt once and I won't have it happen again. You need to get over this boy and that is final." I was competely shocked but knew she was right. I fought back tears and that night I went to bed mentally exhausted.

The next day Joelle had to go into town for some errands. I decided to venture out on a walk around her neighborhood. While I was out, Josh called. This was strange because we weren't on phone to phone basis talking. I answered and we talked for a few minutes not really about anything. We ended the conversation and 30 seconds later the phone rang again stating Josh was calling. I figured this was a pocket dial so I answered it not expecting him to be on the other end of the line. There was no hello, he started with, "I have been thinking a lot about you and I want to do it right this time...will you be my girlfriend again. I know I was not good at it last time so I just ask for one more chance to show you how I can treat you right this time." I followed my heart.

We got to know each other on a much deeper level. We would talk about our morals, values and future dreams (which at this time did not include each other). We started going to church together and really started to open up to each other in a way we hadn't before. I found out that the reason he had broken it off with me the first time was because he had just committed his next few years of life to the Army and wasn't sure he could balance the girlfriend with the military. Even though I didn't know what the future held, I knew that I loved being around him. He brought out my nurturing side while I brought silliness to his life. He made me feel happy, safe and loved. He was my dream man.

The military caused Josh to leave for a lot of the summers. Summer of 2007, I was going to Wisconsin to be a student nurse at an all boys camp and he was going to Japan to do CTLT (Cadet troop leader training). We talked on the phone everyday while he was in Japan. I would run to the cafeteria at 0730 in the morning to talk to him for 30 mins before breakfast and would hear about how his day was just ending. The conversations were always fun and it was usually the highlight of my day. But I doubted that summer how far things were going to go with us because one of the things that was most important to me was find a man who would challenge me in my faith and relationship with the Lord and I wasn't sure where Josh stood with this issue.

When I came to know the Lord in college, I got a little too excited about it and turned a lot of people off by wanting to always talk about it. So shortly after, I decided to approach the subject differently. I tried to do more through actions and less through words (although this was very hard for me). With Josh, I would ask him about where he was but didn't want to push my believes on him because I was afraid this would turn him off.

I picked up Josh from the airport after that summer...both ecstatic to see each other. That night we went out for dinner and I remember questioning the relationship which did not make him happy. That Sunday we attended church together. When we got to the car and buckled in I asked Josh, "What did you think about the sermon?" He said, "I really liked it. Infact there is something that I need to talk to you about."

Nothing could prepare me for what came next.

Josh stated that he had accepted Jesus Christ while in Japan after talking to a Pastor various times. He said he knew he needed to learn more after he made the decision and he had wanted to tell me in person. He showed me a tatoo that received shortly after the decision that stated "Live Free."

All I could do was cry. I felt so small and little. I wondered why I had not trusted the Lord in why he had shared Josh with me. God taught me a big lesson that day.

The day I married Josh was a very scary day. I was not a woman of change and I would be moving to Germany as a military wife (which I knew nothing about). I would feel my heart get heavy everytime he was not by my side and I feared the day the Army would call him to go to war...that I would die of a broken heart.

Almost 4 years later, 2 deployments and a baby girl on her way it is safe to say that my fear of "falling out of love one day" has been conquered. Every morning I wake up finding myself more in love with him. The things that typically would bother a wife (dirty clothes, drinking directly out of the milk/orange juice carton, leaving the toilet seat up, getting a temper with non-living objects- aka computers, cars, tvs, phones) I seem to think are cute. I have always stated that I am still in the honeymoon phase and think that is the statement I hope to use for the next 4 years.

Josh is not perfect and nor am I but I am sure thankful that Joelle and I went out that night in February of 2006. Josh challenges, loves and protects me in a way I never thought was humanly possible.