Our Story

One of the things I feared most before getting married was one day falling out of love with that person. I am not sure why this was such a fear of mine but it was. I definately did not want it to happen after I was married because the only other thing I feared more was having to go through a divorce.

On February 18th, 2006, my best friend, Joelle, and I decided to venture out since we had just turned 21. We were at a place called "The Drink" when we decided to do what was called a "lap" where we walked around the bar in order to scope out the scene. While we were walking around we saw four guys standing in a circle and instantly Josh struck my eye. (Turns out that if you stop walking and start giggling like little girls then you are pretty hard to miss as well.) Joelle and I came up with this genius idea to ask him to take a picture of us. So Josh introduced himself and then took our picture. The bar was loud but Josh and I attempted to understand each other over the music before he asked me if I wanted to sit down and talk some more. While we sat in the booth in the corner and talked for an hour, Joelle talked to Josh's best friend, Jim. At the time both Joelle and Jim were being wingfriends since they were in committed relationships. I am not sure what Josh and I talked about for so long but I was very intrigued with this boy. So I layed it all out there and asked him "So what do you think about Jesus?" To which he replied, "Well I don't really think about Jesus these days" That night before we left Joelle gave Josh a piece of paper with my number on it. While Joelle and I were washing up for bed that night she said, "You are going to marry this boy....I just know it."

(Very first picture of Josh and I after we met that night at the bar.)

I would like to say that the rest is history but I am afraid that was not the case. Josh and I dated for 4 months and then broke up. At this time we didn't really know each other too well but I was still very hurt by this breakup. We hadn't had a fight or anything but he had brought it up and I tried to go along with it. He left that night and I cried. I had not cried over a boy in over 2 years so I wasn't sure why I was soo affected by this.

Josh would call and we would talk up a storm. We didn't hang out but I thought everytime he would maybe ask to do something. I soon found myself wishing and hoping for something that wasn't going to happen. So after talking the subject over and over again with Joelle, I decided that it was best that I didn't talk to him. This was only best for me because I was finding this man very hard to get over and when he would call to say hi I would get the least bit of hope that he still liked me. Time went by and we would run into each other occassionally...to which I would always leave very distraught from seeing him because of how much I missed him.

It had been 4 months since we had last dated and Christmas break was coming up. I was running on the treadmill at the gym when I saw him walk in. He came over and we started talking. I had to eventually start walking because I couldn't laugh and run at the same time. He has always had this way of making me laugh and I usually don't find things very funny because I have always been more of a serious person. Josh isn't a stand up comedian; infact, some might even say that he isn't funny at all but I would argue this. He can say the most random thing or perhaps the most stupid thing and I will laugh hysterically. During this conversation, Josh informed that he would also be up in Duluth over Christmas break skiing. Joelle and I were also heading up to Duluth to hang out with her parents. Josh let me get back to my run to which I ran my last 3 miles faster than I had ran my first 3. :)

It was now Christmas break. We had been emailing to each other and had decided to hang out one night in Duluth. So Joelle agreed to come out with me in Duluth to meet up with him. We hung out at a local pub and had a drink before we went across the way to a place that had dancing. I don't think we left each others side on the dance floor that night and although Josh thinks his dance moves are better than they are....I can't deny that I enjoyed them that night. :) Joelle and I dropped off Josh at his little sister's (where he was staying) and I will never forget what happened after he left the car. Sweet Joelle started yelling at me! She said, "You need to stop this! I saw you get hurt once and I won't have it happen again. You need to get over this boy and that is final." I was competely shocked but knew she was right. I fought back tears and that night I went to bed mentally exhausted.

The next day Joelle had to go into town for some errands. I decided to venture out on a walk around her neighborhood. While I was out, Josh called. This was strange because we weren't on phone to phone basis talking. I answered and we talked for a few minutes not really about anything. We ended the conversation and 30 seconds later the phone rang again stating Josh was calling. I figured this was a pocket dial so I answered it not expecting him to be on the other end of the line. There was no hello, he started with, "I have been thinking a lot about you and I want to do it right this time...will you be my girlfriend again. I know I was not good at it last time so I just ask for one more chance to show you how I can treat you right this time." I followed my heart.

We got to know each other on a much deeper level. We would talk about our morals, values and future dreams (which at this time did not include each other). We started going to church together and really started to open up to each other in a way we hadn't before. I found out that the reason he had broken it off with me the first time was because he had just committed his next few years of life to the Army and wasn't sure he could balance the girlfriend with the military. Even though I didn't know what the future held, I knew that I loved being around him. He brought out my nurturing side while I brought silliness to his life. He made me feel happy, safe and loved. He was my dream man.

The military caused Josh to leave for a lot of the summers. Summer of 2007, I was going to Wisconsin to be a student nurse at an all boys camp and he was going to Japan to do CTLT (Cadet troop leader training). We talked on the phone everyday while he was in Japan. I would run to the cafeteria at 0730 in the morning to talk to him for 30 mins before breakfast and would hear about how his day was just ending. The conversations were always fun and it was usually the highlight of my day. But I doubted that summer how far things were going to go with us because one of the things that was most important to me was find a man who would challenge me in my faith and relationship with the Lord and I wasn't sure where Josh stood with this issue.

When I came to know the Lord in college, I got a little too excited about it and turned a lot of people off by wanting to always talk about it. So shortly after, I decided to approach the subject differently. I tried to do more through actions and less through words (although this was very hard for me). With Josh, I would ask him about where he was but didn't want to push my believes on him because I was afraid this would turn him off.

I picked up Josh from the airport after that summer...both ecstatic to see each other. That night we went out for dinner and I remember questioning the relationship which did not make him happy. That Sunday we attended church together. When we got to the car and buckled in I asked Josh, "What did you think about the sermon?" He said, "I really liked it. Infact there is something that I need to talk to you about."

Nothing could prepare me for what came next.

Josh stated that he had accepted Jesus Christ while in Japan after talking to a Pastor various times. He said he knew he needed to learn more after he made the decision and he had wanted to tell me in person. He showed me a tatoo that received shortly after the decision that stated "Live Free."

All I could do was cry. I felt so small and little. I wondered why I had not trusted the Lord in why he had shared Josh with me. God taught me a big lesson that day.

The day I married Josh was a very scary day. I was not a woman of change and I would be moving to Germany as a military wife (which I knew nothing about). I would feel my heart get heavy everytime he was not by my side and I feared the day the Army would call him to go to war...that I would die of a broken heart.

Almost 4 years later, 2 deployments and a baby girl on her way it is safe to say that my fear of "falling out of love one day" has been conquered. Every morning I wake up finding myself more in love with him. The things that typically would bother a wife (dirty clothes, drinking directly out of the milk/orange juice carton, leaving the toilet seat up, getting a temper with non-living objects- aka computers, cars, tvs, phones) I seem to think are cute. I have always stated that I am still in the honeymoon phase and think that is the statement I hope to use for the next 4 years.

Josh is not perfect and nor am I but I am sure thankful that Joelle and I went out that night in February of 2006. Josh challenges, loves and protects me in a way I never thought was humanly possible.

My heart still sinks everytime the word "deployment" is stated and that is how I know this man will be around in my life for a little longer. :)

THE END. :)

Germany friends and oh how I already miss thee:(

I know I have not been soo good about my blog but I will blame it on Josh. Since he returned from Afghanistan on June 19th of 2011 we have been busy exploring the rest of Europe before leaving for stateside in March 2012.

I know I have a lot of catching up to do but first I want to dedicate this blog to the reason I survived a year without my best friend, Mister mustard (aka Joshua David). First I will give you all a little background into the anticipation of the 12 month deployment. Mikey La (aka Mike Latza).

Josh was one of the last guys to find out he was deploying. He found out in plenty of time but it wasn't really his call if he was going to go or not. One of his best guy friends, Mike Latza, was currently the XO (executive officer) for the company that had been chosen to deploy. The mission they had in Afghanistan did not require anymore than just a company so it was Bravo Company that was picked (out of three companies total). Mike had to make a decision to deploy or to attend a course stateside. If he chose not to deploy it was Josh who would be going as the XO. When Josh first told me this news he ended it by "No worry, I know Mike is going to deploy." In the back of my head I did not agree with Josh and knew that this would be a tough decision for Mike to make. A few weeks later, Mike gave us the news that he had decided to attend career course...which meant Josh would be deploying. This news had its ups and it's downs but one plus to this was that I would be spending the next year with this pretty friend who's husband was also deploying with Josh. Lydia Henshaw. :)

Lydia and I spent many nights watching movies, drinking wine, making appetizers and her famous pizza. We also made it a point to work out each morning at 5:30 AM. When it was warm enough we enjoyed the 15 min walk to the gym together chit chatting and sometimes waking up our neighbors on our walk because we were "giggling" too loud. She was my deployment buddy and we were each other's sanity the days we hadn't heard from our husbands. I couldn't have done it without her.

Lydia and I had a group a girls who we hung out with.

The only thing was that they all had their husbands for the next 8 months (to when the Birgade would deploy and ALL soldiers on post suitable to deploy would go to Afghanistan) but they were all sweethearts about inviting Lydia and I to tag along on double date nights and couple outings.

All of us girls each got through our year without our husbands and I know it in my heart that God gave me these girls in order to get through this time. They truly were my little angels and I really don't think I would have had half of the experience without them. Some of the girl trips we took were too Dublin Ireland, Sardinia Italy, Champagne France (where we ran a 1/2 Marathon), countless wine festivals, Christmas markets and beer festivals.

While Josh was away for the year my best friend from highschool and college, Joelle, came to visit.

She managed to come out twice while I lived in Germany and it was something that truly meant the world to me. The first time she came to visit was in February of 2009 when Josh deployed three weeks after getting to Germany. She brought her sisters out and we had so much fun traveling all over. The 2nd time Jojo came out was in April. We took a big girls trip to Sardinia, Italy so she was able to meet all of my friends. We of course had the time of our lives and enjoyed one last trip with just me and her before her and Dane added their newest addition, Samual Walter, to their family. I had to include a family photo because little Sammy is just too cute for words and I was so fortunate to meet him this last month.

And then there was my sister.

She had moved to Germany in February of 2010. She has always been my biggest supporter and saving grace. No matter how different we are she always supports me and loves me despite how difficult or ugly I can be. She is the one I would run to when Josh was away and I was having an "ugly" day. She had this way of instantly making me feel better. I feel that my sister is one of the most blessed people I have met because I think many would agree with me when I say she is good at "Everything!" She could be a professional chef, photgropher and home designer. Heck she even knows how to sew. However, these are just things she does in her free time because she spends most of her time working as a chiropractor and she now teaches college classes at the University of Maryland. Soon she is going back to get ANOTHER degree in Woman's health as a Nurse Practioner. I say this only because when I go to her with advice I feel that one of her callings should have been family counseling because she can give some of the best advice around. Needless to say I feel fortunate everyday to even say I know her...let alone her be my SEESTER!:) She of course is another one to blame for me having the time of my life while in Germany. Seester, seester...oh how I love you!

I can't forget to mention all of my Baumholder Health Clinic staff. I worked at the Baumholder Health Clinic as a Nurse for 3 years and 2 weeks. The job was very challenging at first and taught me a lot about myself, communication and patient care. For about two of the years, I was the Charge Nurse of Team 2 and although it took me away from patient care from time to time it taught me a lot about leadership. Honestly it was my co-workers who made the job on a day to day basis. Some of the nurses and staff were some of the kindest, genuine people I had ever worked with. They all know who they are and boy did they make my days great and my weeks go by fast (perhaps a little too fast).

The Stehulaks, Lorintz, Jeaners, Ms. Shawna, the Lawhons, Roy, Kaleb, Mikey La and others I know have impacted our time in Germany. Our families have impacted our stay out here by purchasing long distance plans and having an easy way to contact them in the states even with the distance and time difference. Not to mention them visiting numerous times even when Josh was deployed!:)Finding the friends and family in Germany was the key to my experience. And one of the last final best parts about Germany was to see all of our husbands get to be close friends after they all returned from Afghanistan.

Now when I talk to my friends and sister in Germany I still can't believe the experience I had and was able to share with others. My sister is in Florence this week, one of my best girlfriends, Lauren, is in Scotland and my other girls went to a beer festival. I just can't believe that use to be me and I was able to experience so much of the world. I feel so blessed and miss everyone in Germany on a daily basis. Thank you everyone for making my three years in Germany three of the best ones of my life thus far:)