This past weekend me and a few girls went to Berlin, Germany. For once I thought that history was the greatest thing in the world. I had never once before appreciated it on any of the other trips. This blew Josh away and was unfortunate because this is a huge part of him and one of the big reasons he joined the Army: "To give back to the country what they gave him." I went there and after going on one history tour I REQUESTED to go on another one...I absolutely loved the history. All I wanted getting back was to call him and tell him how great it was and how we NEEDED to go back and see it. I was sold on Berlin, Germany and named it my third favorite city in Europe (behind Cinque Terre and Barcelona).
Being in Germany I could have my cell phone with me and on. The first night I missed a call from him but knew he would call back. Night two and three I didn't hear from him. The fourth day I kinda got a little worried but knew everything would be okay. On the plane ride back I laid down and my heart sank a little knowing it would be at least 6 months till I could hold his hand (I miss the little things the most). We landed and I was driving when my phone rang. It was him! I was soo excited but couldn't understand anything he said. All he could really get out was that he would get a chance to call me on Wednesday. I stated that was a long time but I would be there so we could talk.
Yesterday (wednesday) I got back from work and was suppose to go watch the Germany vs. Spain game with Megs. Part of me wanted to but part of me was still drained from traveling so I decided to stay back. I knew Josh was going to call but have told myself that I CAN'T stop life without him. I called Lydia to chat. Lydia is one of the wifes whos husband (Patrick) is the platoon leader. This was the job Josh was doing in Iraq. (In Afganistan there is a lot of danger in what these guys are doing. Before Josh left he stated it was a 50% explosion rate. For every explosive device they find, they will be hit once. I will never tell Lydia this...for in our world we get through it by not knowing.) So I called Lydia to see how she was doing. I expressed that all I wanted was to have a conversation with him. Just to talk about my day, my trip to Berlin and my Eiskaffee (ice cream with coffee- most amazing thing I have EVER had!!) that I got everyday for breakfast. She is a very good listener. I hung up the phone and my phone beeked. I looked down at it and knew I messed up.
He had called and left a message that he just needed to hear my voice, he wished me a goodnights sleep and would try calling tomorrow afternoon. I lost it and started crying. This only lasted a few minutes to which I knew I had to do something...anything. I knew in the big picture I would look back and think I was being silly. I took a shower and went to read our book (we have decided to read a book together) "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It solidified my feelings that I wasn't crazy and that I did need to talk about my day to him and since I hadn't in a week a little part of me was different.
This afternoon came around and I didn't hear from him. I told my sister that no matter what I was coming over for some wine and dinner. After picking up Kristy and Lydia and getting there, he called! The conversation was a slow one (there was about a 10 second delay) so it got frustrating but it didn't even matter. Turns out we get our R & R (two weeks within the year to see each other) in March...which is exactly what we wanted (9 months in). The only thing was that I got scared I couldn't wait that long.
I drove Lydia and Kristy home and after dropping off Kristy we headed to Lydia's. Just as we were getting there her phone rang. She looked up at me and with the biggest smile I had seen out of her all night she said "IT's PATRICK" and ran out of the car...didn't say bye but just looked back with the biggest smile I had ever seen out of her and waved goodbye.
I drove away with the biggest smile too. It's hard to be here not knowing what they are doing. Times come when you feel you shouldn't act or be upset about such small things...but then you look over at your friend who is experiencing the same thing and know that her smile was the exact same one you had earlier that night and know you aren't alone.
And everything is okay. :)
