I hope this blog finds every one having a good day. I know I am random with my posts but after this Sunday’s church service I couldn’t help but write.
Yesterday I attended my church solo. I usually go with my friend, Lydia but she hadn’t been feeling well but since I had been looking forward to church all weekend I just had to go….and now looking back am so thankful.
This church starts off with a live band who does the worship. Worship is kinda a big deal to me so I fell in love with the church as soon as I heard the band play. After about 3 songs the pastor announced that we were going to do something different and have people come up and give a testimony. It could be on when you first came to know Jesus or simply a story of mercy, love, sorrow, etc.
The first man (about 45 years old) stood up and stated that he was not standing there because he wanted to be, but because God wanted him to be there. He went on to say that he had pulled away from God for quite sometime…gone through it all with marital problems and not being a good father. He spoke about forgiveness and how God drew him back to him and ended with God will never forsaken us ….even though we go through spells where we feel so alone, lost and hurt by life.
Next up was the girl sitting infront of me. This gorgeous girl got up and stated that she just turned 30 and even being 30 she is not sure why her life has been as tough as it has. She stated she had lost her husband at 23 to a car accident after having two of his children. She and been remarried and just recently been through a horrible divorce now with three children and after another horrific event she was suppose to have her Dad come out to visit her when he had a heart attack in the airport (he was okay). She started tearing up and said, “Even throughout all this sorrow, God still provides.” She turned up to her girlfriend who was playing the piano and said, “Thank you….you have helped me to see where Jesus stands when I don’t know even know where I stand.”
A man then went up there and stated that last week God intervened. Last week he received a phone call that his parents had been involved in a very bad motorcycle accident. His father was driving (with his mother on the back) down a scenic route in Colorado. They were going through an area that didn’t get phone reception when he saw a school bus cross over the line. He had taken the corrective action and pulled over to the shoulder of the road but when doing so they hit a rock and both went over the handle bars of the bike. They both were wearing full protective gear but as he was laying there (with his wife being 50 feet further down the hill) he started to get short of breath and knew soon he would pass out. That day another man (on a motorcycle) was taking the scenic way home and saw the end of the accident. He quickly ran to the scene and since this was an area he couldn’t call out with his phone, he quickly fell to his knees and started to pray. Less than 30 seconds later an ambulance (that had just ended its shift and was headed back for the day) came by and were able to get both his parents to the ER in time. His parents had been realized from the hospital a few days later with no major injuries.
Finally a 13 year old girl then went up and stated that the past couple months she had been very angry and upset with life. This wasn’t normally like her but it had been bothering her because she hadn’t been the friend or daughter she had wanted to be. She went on to say that last week her best girlfriend had left her and didn’t want to be her friend anymore. She stated, “this might sound kinda weird but I think that God took my best friend from me in order to allow me to draw closer to Him. And I didn’t realize that God had done that until my friend had left me and I started depending on Him more.”
I sat there and thought about what the young girl had said and realized that I too was in that same situation. Some of you probably don’t know but before Josh deployed I was not exactly myself. I had no control over what was about to happen with him leaving so I became very angry and hurt by the deployment. Some nights I would skip out on certain events just because I was so upset and sad. I would say hurtful things to Josh when he decided to still attend the events and I can conclude that I did not like myself very much. Looking back on it always makes me very sad to think of the kind of person I was but it wasn’t until my best friend was pulled away from me that I realized these things. For the 2nd time (2nd deployment) it was just “Me and God” again. Although I never wish these deployments on ANYONE, (and as crazy as it may seem) I do need to stop and thank God for this bonding time I have with Jesus. It was Sunday that I came to the realization that without the deployment I still may be stuck in my “not so nice” ways. God just needed and desired me to be closer to Him and little did I know that is what I needed also. Life really is pretty okay when He requests your attention. :)
I wasn’t really able to tell anyone about this significant even so decided that blogging would be most therapeutic. …so if you made it to this point that you for reading it. :)
Love you all,
Gretchen
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
And everything is okay :)
Tonight clarified that there is no other better feeling than just hearing that man call you and tell you he needs you. I know this might sound crazy and semi corny but after tonight it really did prove my thoughts.
This past weekend me and a few girls went to Berlin, Germany. For once I thought that history was the greatest thing in the world. I had never once before appreciated it on any of the other trips. This blew Josh away and was unfortunate because this is a huge part of him and one of the big reasons he joined the Army: "To give back to the country what they gave him." I went there and after going on one history tour I REQUESTED to go on another one...I absolutely loved the history. All I wanted getting back was to call him and tell him how great it was and how we NEEDED to go back and see it. I was sold on Berlin, Germany and named it my third favorite city in Europe (behind Cinque Terre and Barcelona).
Being in Germany I could have my cell phone with me and on. The first night I missed a call from him but knew he would call back. Night two and three I didn't hear from him. The fourth day I kinda got a little worried but knew everything would be okay. On the plane ride back I laid down and my heart sank a little knowing it would be at least 6 months till I could hold his hand (I miss the little things the most). We landed and I was driving when my phone rang. It was him! I was soo excited but couldn't understand anything he said. All he could really get out was that he would get a chance to call me on Wednesday. I stated that was a long time but I would be there so we could talk.
Yesterday (wednesday) I got back from work and was suppose to go watch the Germany vs. Spain game with Megs. Part of me wanted to but part of me was still drained from traveling so I decided to stay back. I knew Josh was going to call but have told myself that I CAN'T stop life without him. I called Lydia to chat. Lydia is one of the wifes whos husband (Patrick) is the platoon leader. This was the job Josh was doing in Iraq. (In Afganistan there is a lot of danger in what these guys are doing. Before Josh left he stated it was a 50% explosion rate. For every explosive device they find, they will be hit once. I will never tell Lydia this...for in our world we get through it by not knowing.) So I called Lydia to see how she was doing. I expressed that all I wanted was to have a conversation with him. Just to talk about my day, my trip to Berlin and my Eiskaffee (ice cream with coffee- most amazing thing I have EVER had!!) that I got everyday for breakfast. She is a very good listener. I hung up the phone and my phone beeked. I looked down at it and knew I messed up.
He had called and left a message that he just needed to hear my voice, he wished me a goodnights sleep and would try calling tomorrow afternoon. I lost it and started crying. This only lasted a few minutes to which I knew I had to do something...anything. I knew in the big picture I would look back and think I was being silly. I took a shower and went to read our book (we have decided to read a book together) "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It solidified my feelings that I wasn't crazy and that I did need to talk about my day to him and since I hadn't in a week a little part of me was different.
This afternoon came around and I didn't hear from him. I told my sister that no matter what I was coming over for some wine and dinner. After picking up Kristy and Lydia and getting there, he called! The conversation was a slow one (there was about a 10 second delay) so it got frustrating but it didn't even matter. Turns out we get our R & R (two weeks within the year to see each other) in March...which is exactly what we wanted (9 months in). The only thing was that I got scared I couldn't wait that long.
I drove Lydia and Kristy home and after dropping off Kristy we headed to Lydia's. Just as we were getting there her phone rang. She looked up at me and with the biggest smile I had seen out of her all night she said "IT's PATRICK" and ran out of the car...didn't say bye but just looked back with the biggest smile I had ever seen out of her and waved goodbye.
I drove away with the biggest smile too. It's hard to be here not knowing what they are doing. Times come when you feel you shouldn't act or be upset about such small things...but then you look over at your friend who is experiencing the same thing and know that her smile was the exact same one you had earlier that night and know you aren't alone.
And everything is okay. :)
This past weekend me and a few girls went to Berlin, Germany. For once I thought that history was the greatest thing in the world. I had never once before appreciated it on any of the other trips. This blew Josh away and was unfortunate because this is a huge part of him and one of the big reasons he joined the Army: "To give back to the country what they gave him." I went there and after going on one history tour I REQUESTED to go on another one...I absolutely loved the history. All I wanted getting back was to call him and tell him how great it was and how we NEEDED to go back and see it. I was sold on Berlin, Germany and named it my third favorite city in Europe (behind Cinque Terre and Barcelona).
Being in Germany I could have my cell phone with me and on. The first night I missed a call from him but knew he would call back. Night two and three I didn't hear from him. The fourth day I kinda got a little worried but knew everything would be okay. On the plane ride back I laid down and my heart sank a little knowing it would be at least 6 months till I could hold his hand (I miss the little things the most). We landed and I was driving when my phone rang. It was him! I was soo excited but couldn't understand anything he said. All he could really get out was that he would get a chance to call me on Wednesday. I stated that was a long time but I would be there so we could talk.
Yesterday (wednesday) I got back from work and was suppose to go watch the Germany vs. Spain game with Megs. Part of me wanted to but part of me was still drained from traveling so I decided to stay back. I knew Josh was going to call but have told myself that I CAN'T stop life without him. I called Lydia to chat. Lydia is one of the wifes whos husband (Patrick) is the platoon leader. This was the job Josh was doing in Iraq. (In Afganistan there is a lot of danger in what these guys are doing. Before Josh left he stated it was a 50% explosion rate. For every explosive device they find, they will be hit once. I will never tell Lydia this...for in our world we get through it by not knowing.) So I called Lydia to see how she was doing. I expressed that all I wanted was to have a conversation with him. Just to talk about my day, my trip to Berlin and my Eiskaffee (ice cream with coffee- most amazing thing I have EVER had!!) that I got everyday for breakfast. She is a very good listener. I hung up the phone and my phone beeked. I looked down at it and knew I messed up.
He had called and left a message that he just needed to hear my voice, he wished me a goodnights sleep and would try calling tomorrow afternoon. I lost it and started crying. This only lasted a few minutes to which I knew I had to do something...anything. I knew in the big picture I would look back and think I was being silly. I took a shower and went to read our book (we have decided to read a book together) "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It solidified my feelings that I wasn't crazy and that I did need to talk about my day to him and since I hadn't in a week a little part of me was different.
This afternoon came around and I didn't hear from him. I told my sister that no matter what I was coming over for some wine and dinner. After picking up Kristy and Lydia and getting there, he called! The conversation was a slow one (there was about a 10 second delay) so it got frustrating but it didn't even matter. Turns out we get our R & R (two weeks within the year to see each other) in March...which is exactly what we wanted (9 months in). The only thing was that I got scared I couldn't wait that long.
I drove Lydia and Kristy home and after dropping off Kristy we headed to Lydia's. Just as we were getting there her phone rang. She looked up at me and with the biggest smile I had seen out of her all night she said "IT's PATRICK" and ran out of the car...didn't say bye but just looked back with the biggest smile I had ever seen out of her and waved goodbye.
I drove away with the biggest smile too. It's hard to be here not knowing what they are doing. Times come when you feel you shouldn't act or be upset about such small things...but then you look over at your friend who is experiencing the same thing and know that her smile was the exact same one you had earlier that night and know you aren't alone.
And everything is okay. :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
7 Goodbyes
Hello Everyone,
Just wanted to give you all a quick update on Josh and life. Josh and I said goodbye last thursday. From there he was put on lockdown and taken to a base (30 mins away) to fly out. I heard from him a couple times that day for he told me his flights kept getting delayed but he would fly out the next day. Friday he called me again and said once again his flight got delayed and he would fly out that night. So on Saturday he texted me in the morning and told me he was getting on the plane and would try to write me once he got there. So on Saturday, my sister and I (and a few other friends) ventured out to a festival at a castle. We were just hanging out when my phone rang and it was his ringtone. I was very confused and asked where he was. Turns out he hadn't moved and was still in Raimstein (the Air Foce base). So I did what any smart girl would do and asked if we could come see him. Turns out none of us had eaten so my sister, Shannon and I drove to Raimstein to have dinner with him.
A picture of the Girls and Kaiden at the Kusel Festival
That night we had so much fun at dinner but needed to say another Goodbye because he was scheduled to take off in the morning.
To make a long story short. Josh and his 8 soldiers (who were suppose to fly out on the ADVON (advanced party) group) finally took off yesterday after spending 6 nights in the terminal sleeping and had about 14 flights cancelled. Lucky for me I found out that after 7 Goodbyes it isn't so difficult to say Goodbye anymore. :) He was very excited to get there and I too was very relieved when he called me yesterday morning and told me this was it and he was leaving.
One last photo of Josh
The ironic part of the story is that the main body ended up flying out before the ADVON group. Each time a flight would get cancelled, the guys would get more and more frustrated. I tried to go see Josh as much as possible after work so this week I have been getting home between 1:30- 2:30 AM. So it is now time for me to catch up on sleep. Last night I was in bed by 8:30 PM. :)
The plane that FINALLY got Josh off to where he was suppose to go.
Hope everyone has a GREAT 4th of July. My sister, I and 3 other gals are flying to Berlin for the weekend so I will have to update you all when I get back.
Love,
Gretchen
Just wanted to give you all a quick update on Josh and life. Josh and I said goodbye last thursday. From there he was put on lockdown and taken to a base (30 mins away) to fly out. I heard from him a couple times that day for he told me his flights kept getting delayed but he would fly out the next day. Friday he called me again and said once again his flight got delayed and he would fly out that night. So on Saturday he texted me in the morning and told me he was getting on the plane and would try to write me once he got there. So on Saturday, my sister and I (and a few other friends) ventured out to a festival at a castle. We were just hanging out when my phone rang and it was his ringtone. I was very confused and asked where he was. Turns out he hadn't moved and was still in Raimstein (the Air Foce base). So I did what any smart girl would do and asked if we could come see him. Turns out none of us had eaten so my sister, Shannon and I drove to Raimstein to have dinner with him.
A picture of the Girls and Kaiden at the Kusel Festival
That night we had so much fun at dinner but needed to say another Goodbye because he was scheduled to take off in the morning.
To make a long story short. Josh and his 8 soldiers (who were suppose to fly out on the ADVON (advanced party) group) finally took off yesterday after spending 6 nights in the terminal sleeping and had about 14 flights cancelled. Lucky for me I found out that after 7 Goodbyes it isn't so difficult to say Goodbye anymore. :) He was very excited to get there and I too was very relieved when he called me yesterday morning and told me this was it and he was leaving.
One last photo of Josh
The ironic part of the story is that the main body ended up flying out before the ADVON group. Each time a flight would get cancelled, the guys would get more and more frustrated. I tried to go see Josh as much as possible after work so this week I have been getting home between 1:30- 2:30 AM. So it is now time for me to catch up on sleep. Last night I was in bed by 8:30 PM. :)
The plane that FINALLY got Josh off to where he was suppose to go.
Hope everyone has a GREAT 4th of July. My sister, I and 3 other gals are flying to Berlin for the weekend so I will have to update you all when I get back.
Love,
Gretchen
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Goodbyes :(
So all the preparing and anticipation finally arrived today. Josh left
for a year to go to war. I can't say that I was the strongest person but
I think I did pretty okay.
Yesterday afternoon I called my boss (She too is an Army spouse with three boys) to ask if I could have the afternoon off in order to spend some time with Josh. She told me that I can have as much time as I need and if I needed to take today off she would understand completely. I let her know that I think I needed to come in after just to be around people but I really appreciated all of her support. So when I got home at lunch to hang out with Josh I realized that my mind and body had not been in agreement. I told Josh that I "just felt really weird" and I think I needed to lay down. I went into the bedroom where I closed all the curtains and turned on my fan. When I do this Josh tells me that I become a hermit because I don't like sunlight in my eyes when I'm trying to sleep. I awoke 1 1/2 hours later to Josh sitting next to me (in the dark) typing an email on his laptop. It was 1630 at this time. He asked if I wanted to go to dinner or go workout and I told him that I wasn't hungry and didn't really want to get out of bed. (This is very unlike me because I usually am hungry all the time and am always up for doing something.) I was sad and just wanted to be where I was for the time and I needed him to stay next to me. He got up immediately, told me that I could no longer be a hermit and opened up the curtains. To my surprise it was a beautiful day outside. He took me to the soccer fields where we watched one of my good friend's kid, Kaiden, play soccer. He is 4 years old and he spent the majority of the practice picking flowers for one of the girls he had a crush on. They start young here in Germany I guess.
Last night I would not let Josh go to bed. We kept falling asleep on the couch after saying bye to our neighbors John and Abby. (I encourage everyone to follow my sister's blog because she has a blog titled "meet the cast" where she gives everyone in site into our friends over here.) I kept waking Josh up telling him that we couldn't go to sleep because that meant morning would come sooner. He was one heck of a husband and stayed up talking to me while wiping my tears away. I love that
bouy....I think a little too much.:)
This morning I woke him up at 4 am and asked him if he wanted to read a chapter of "The purpose driven life" together. He agreed and so I read it out loud to us. The chapter was about how on earth is temporary and we need to focus on our purpose here on earth because just like that our time will be done. It really made me realize that this year, even though it feels like it will take forever now, is only a small window in our life.
I just wanted to let you know that I am doing okay right now. Right before Josh left he called my sister and asked if she would come stay over with me tonight. Without hesitation she said she would clear her schedule and be there. I am very lucky to have a sister like her.
On top of that, when I got to work I had a ginormous bar of Milka chocolate and a bottle of wine at my desk from Kristy (the girl who works in my office with me). Then I opened my email to find numerous emails from other girls here letting me know they were thinking and praying for me. I feel very loved today.:)
I know you all will be wondering and thinking of Josh (and please keep him in your prayers), but I will do my best to post blogs so you all can know how he is doing and adjusting over there. Some things I might not be able to say but I will give all the details I can.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. Thank you for all the love and
support.
Love,
Gretchen
for a year to go to war. I can't say that I was the strongest person but
I think I did pretty okay.
Yesterday afternoon I called my boss (She too is an Army spouse with three boys) to ask if I could have the afternoon off in order to spend some time with Josh. She told me that I can have as much time as I need and if I needed to take today off she would understand completely. I let her know that I think I needed to come in after just to be around people but I really appreciated all of her support. So when I got home at lunch to hang out with Josh I realized that my mind and body had not been in agreement. I told Josh that I "just felt really weird" and I think I needed to lay down. I went into the bedroom where I closed all the curtains and turned on my fan. When I do this Josh tells me that I become a hermit because I don't like sunlight in my eyes when I'm trying to sleep. I awoke 1 1/2 hours later to Josh sitting next to me (in the dark) typing an email on his laptop. It was 1630 at this time. He asked if I wanted to go to dinner or go workout and I told him that I wasn't hungry and didn't really want to get out of bed. (This is very unlike me because I usually am hungry all the time and am always up for doing something.) I was sad and just wanted to be where I was for the time and I needed him to stay next to me. He got up immediately, told me that I could no longer be a hermit and opened up the curtains. To my surprise it was a beautiful day outside. He took me to the soccer fields where we watched one of my good friend's kid, Kaiden, play soccer. He is 4 years old and he spent the majority of the practice picking flowers for one of the girls he had a crush on. They start young here in Germany I guess.
Last night I would not let Josh go to bed. We kept falling asleep on the couch after saying bye to our neighbors John and Abby. (I encourage everyone to follow my sister's blog because she has a blog titled "meet the cast" where she gives everyone in site into our friends over here.) I kept waking Josh up telling him that we couldn't go to sleep because that meant morning would come sooner. He was one heck of a husband and stayed up talking to me while wiping my tears away. I love that
bouy....I think a little too much.:)
This morning I woke him up at 4 am and asked him if he wanted to read a chapter of "The purpose driven life" together. He agreed and so I read it out loud to us. The chapter was about how on earth is temporary and we need to focus on our purpose here on earth because just like that our time will be done. It really made me realize that this year, even though it feels like it will take forever now, is only a small window in our life.
I just wanted to let you know that I am doing okay right now. Right before Josh left he called my sister and asked if she would come stay over with me tonight. Without hesitation she said she would clear her schedule and be there. I am very lucky to have a sister like her.
On top of that, when I got to work I had a ginormous bar of Milka chocolate and a bottle of wine at my desk from Kristy (the girl who works in my office with me). Then I opened my email to find numerous emails from other girls here letting me know they were thinking and praying for me. I feel very loved today.:)
I know you all will be wondering and thinking of Josh (and please keep him in your prayers), but I will do my best to post blogs so you all can know how he is doing and adjusting over there. Some things I might not be able to say but I will give all the details I can.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. Thank you for all the love and
support.
Love,
Gretchen
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Long time!
Sorry everyone for I haven't written in a long time!
I will give a quick update and write more later....if that is okay.
My sister, Meaghan, arrived on Tuesday in Germany. She moved here to work as the Chiropractor here at the same clinic I work at. :) She will not be "working" for a few weeks yet for the equipment they ordered for her has not yet arrived. She will be one of the first (if not the first) chiropractors practicing in Europe for the military...so that's very exciting! Tricare (the military's health care) did not fun Chiropractors before so she will be starting up the chiropractic section for the military.
That has been our focus for this past week. Josh and I are working hard to get her settled in and try to find her a house....I will keep you updated.
Josh's parents arrive this Thursday and than we will fly out on Friday for Rome for 4 days...I CAN'T WAIT! We will be in one of the most romantic cities on Valentine's Day so I am looking very forward to the adventure.
Josh is staying busy with work. He has a couple months left as a platoon leader. He will be sad to leave his platoon but he is excited to see where they move him to next. My job is going well....some days are great, some days are silly but I will explain more later.:)
Since I have wrote Josh and I have been to Switzerland and Brugge Belgium. Both places were AMAZING and we would love to go back. I almost died coming down the ski slopes in Switzerland....they were no joke:).
Okay, I have to escape to bed...for I have an early morning tomorrow. I hope you are all doing well and you have a GREAT time watching the super bowl tonight.
Love you all!
Gretchen
I will give a quick update and write more later....if that is okay.
My sister, Meaghan, arrived on Tuesday in Germany. She moved here to work as the Chiropractor here at the same clinic I work at. :) She will not be "working" for a few weeks yet for the equipment they ordered for her has not yet arrived. She will be one of the first (if not the first) chiropractors practicing in Europe for the military...so that's very exciting! Tricare (the military's health care) did not fun Chiropractors before so she will be starting up the chiropractic section for the military.
That has been our focus for this past week. Josh and I are working hard to get her settled in and try to find her a house....I will keep you updated.
Josh's parents arrive this Thursday and than we will fly out on Friday for Rome for 4 days...I CAN'T WAIT! We will be in one of the most romantic cities on Valentine's Day so I am looking very forward to the adventure.
Josh is staying busy with work. He has a couple months left as a platoon leader. He will be sad to leave his platoon but he is excited to see where they move him to next. My job is going well....some days are great, some days are silly but I will explain more later.:)
Since I have wrote Josh and I have been to Switzerland and Brugge Belgium. Both places were AMAZING and we would love to go back. I almost died coming down the ski slopes in Switzerland....they were no joke:).
Okay, I have to escape to bed...for I have an early morning tomorrow. I hope you are all doing well and you have a GREAT time watching the super bowl tonight.
Love you all!
Gretchen
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